"awful people, they surround you"

I should be doing schoolwork, but instead I read another zine: Entropic Tendencies #3 (So Many Beautiful Parts) by Laura J.

"Because even the largest untruths are believable when you're 17 and dancing in Dallas rain."

Now, I better get my stuff done...maybe.

"he's a dirty trashcan full of poop"

Yesterday, I finished reading New To Everything #6 by Leanne. One of my favorite parts was this:

"Do you like pop punk?"
"Yeah, why?"
"That's it! See, pop punk perpetuates feelings of rejection and heartbreak. If you just stop listening to it, your life is gonna improve!"
I laughed so hard and put my Screeching Weasel records away...
(It didn't last long.)

"i want so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real"

Today, I read two zines: Erik & Laura-Marie Magazine #40 and #42 by Laura-Marie Taylor.

From #40:
"The school was bordered by a mortuary, cemetary, and hospital, which wasn't lost on me. Every few days, out to play on the playground, I smelled bodies being cremated, which unnerved me, to say the least, and I didn't discuss it with anyone at the time.
"But a few years ago, I called up the Dudley-Hoffman Mortuary and asked them about it. Yes, the nice gentleman told me, they did burn bodies there every few days, around 1984. Yes, there was a distinctive smell."

From #42:
Kimchee
We both
dislike that
hot cabbage

You will get your CD and zine soon, Laura-Marie. I promise.

"a baby sleeps in all our bones, so afraid to be alone"

From Echo! Echo! #4 by Keet
"It seems hilarious now, but there are still times when I drift off into a trance and remember every terror I felt. It has been a month after if happened, but I still feel sick to my stomach whenever I remember it. On the other hand, it never fails to remind me that hey, I'm still alive, after all that. However small an accident it may seem. We all need to be reminded sometimes."

If you are interested in reading any of the zines that I have been reading, just let me know and I will tell you how you can get a hold of them.

"i'm battle scarred, i'm working oh so hard to get back to who i used to be"

Friends and foes, I finished reading another zine. It's a zine out of Australia. It's by the same guy who does Das Papierkrieg and Westside Angst - Mr. Ianto Ware.

The Little Nerd Band That Could part 2
"I'm told Interpol played a show once where the guitarist stopped the song and told the audience to stop clapping along because they were putting him out of time."

"all that i have left are pieces of the ocean that i kept"

I like posting on here, but I don't like posting about my everyday life. No one wants to hear about that, and frankly I don't feel like sharing.
I like reading zines, but I rarely get around to it. I have stacks of zines waiting to be read. I always think I'll get around to reading them sometime, but I don't. And I just keep on getting more. I keep on ordering more. And I keep not reading them. Well, I'm working on it. So, I devised a plan to post more on this blog and to get more zines read. This is my plan: read a zine (this could take days, weeks or even months), then when I am finished reading the zine, I will post the name of the zine I read along with one of my favorite quotes from it. Okay? Fortunately, I just finished reading a zine today, so here goes:

Endless Escalators #1 by Monica A.

"I discovered the purpose of life while at a Lutheran All-School Spelling Bee. It was during the awards ceremony. I was sitting on the cold gym floor with about 30 other kids in my age group. Only third through first place got trophies, so after the fourth place LOOOSER received his LAME RIBBON, everyone tensed up but tried to act calm, because no matter how you look at it, losing your shit over a middle school spelling bee is not okay. Third and second were announced, and I was glad to be almost able to go home, but then I heard my name. Once I had the trophy in my hands, I knew life isn't about things like trying hard and being fair and helping people. Really, it's about winning stuff and making everyone else feel bad."

"your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures"

I want secrets and anonymity.
So...
I embrace my anti-social tendencies.
I stretch myself thin trying to be accommodative.
I take pride in single-hood.
My individualistic independent-ism overwhelms me.
I become selfish, self-centered, and disconnected.
Cellphone is dead.
Introversion abounds.

"how cold can a heart become before it crumbles or decides to stay numb?"

Elephant Mess: 10 Year Anniversary
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

Elephant Mess number nineteen is finished, and it's a zinger. It's the ten year anniversary. Yes, that's right. Elephant Mess has existed for ten years now. That's ten years of boring you to death with my skull droppings. You would do well to get yourself a copy and continue being unentertained. I wrote lots about being an adult zine writer with little or nothing to show for my life. I also wrote about reckless abandonment and skeletons in my closet. There's more, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. Here's what you should do. Find a dollar or three first class stamps. Put it or them in an envelope (or you could send me a trade of some sort - that's bartering). Mail that envelope to:
Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843
USA

queries?
messyelephant@hotmail.com

"Because I can't stand feeling nothing
I can't stand feeling old.
I can't stand standing for nothing
When standing up is all I know."
-Rumbleseat

"call in sorrow your friend, ask her where has she been"

Field of Dreams
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

Last week the Soil Stewards had our very first Farm Field Day. It was a smashing success. More people showed up than I had expected, and everyone seemed to enjoy being at the farm. It felt good to think that all of our hard work is paying off, and that people are interested in what we are doing. More and more people are seeing the need to be connected to their food and to be involved in their community and local economy. The Soil Stewards hope to make this an annual event. There is so much more work to do at the farm. This is really just the beginning, but it's the start of something great. I'm excited to be part of this growing movement.

and now, just because it's in my head:
"be disappointed and glum
beat yourself like a drum
yell out, 'who stole my silent night?!'"
-The Microphones

"loyal to no one, no one at all"

Long, long ago when I first started this blog I decided to play a little guessing game. I said that I would give a prize to the first person who correctly told me me where the title of my blog comes from. No one even made a guess until around 2 and a half years later when Maaike (upon reading over some old entries) came upon that post and answered correctly. The title comes from the song "Cinder and Smoke" by Iron & Wine. I told her I would give her a prize even though I had never originally decided what the prize would be, and quite frankly I had forgotten all about the whole thing anyway. Well, several months have passed and I still haven't given her a prize for winning. Again, I had forgotten until she reminded me recently. Where is my memory going? Where is Maaike's prize? I still don't know what it's going to be. Anyway, don't worry Maaike, you will get a prize soon...I promise. That is, if I don't forget again.

"you had me worried that this would last"

Sufferin' succotash! The first hard frost is looming. Goodbye frost sensitive plants. Goodbye days of summer. Autumn is here to snuff you out.
Last night a light frost hit the farm and afflicted frost damage on the outermost leaves of some of our basil and squash plants. Today we scrambled to cover things up. But we could not cover up everything. We are poor and don't have all the materials needed to protect all the plants that we'd like to protect. We do what we can, and we just have to hope that a hard frost is still in the far distant future. We haven't yet had our fill of tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, beans, eggplants and squash. Yet, all of our hard work will eventually succumb to old man winter. I can accept the natural way of things, but I can't deny that it leaves me just a little bit heartbroken. There is always next year, but next year seems so far away. A Fine Frenzy was right: almost lovers always bring heartache.

I will leave you with this:
"A kitten on fire
A baby in a blender
Both sound as sweet
As a night of surrender"
-My Morning Jacket

"i'm sure i could stand on the great salt lake"

Re-Usable Tea Bags
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

I have additions to the carrot row catalog. One of those additions is this re-usable tea bag you see in the picture here. It is made of cotton muslin, and it has a draw string. It was sewn by my friend, Maaike. It's small enough for one cup of tea, and large enough for a small pot of tea. You can order them from me at the address listed elsewhere on this blog: $2 for one, $5 for three. Another addition is a zine about recycling by Maaike called "EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack!" It comes with a pin and a sticker and costs $2 postage paid.

In other news: The fall semester is in full swing for better or for worse. It's sad to think that summer is coming to an end. Another long winter is in store; which is okay, but now that I have been gardening like mad for two straight summers, winters have become somewhat depressing. All I can think about is the arrival of springtime and the beginning of another growing season.
Also, I am working on another issue of Elephant Mess. It will be out sometime in September. It will be the ten year anniversary issue, which is awesome (to me at least). You would do well not to miss it. I'll keep you posted.

I wish I had more to say, but all my words have been commandeered by all the writing I've been doing lately. It will all pay off someday I'm sure.

Every day I have a new crush. Every night I dream it all away.

"i did my dirt but got a good heart, shouldn't that count for something?"

"...I was told I'd amount to nothing / most of my childhood life by folks / it was stunting my growth" - Jay-Z

I haven't amounted to much, but I did manage to finish my distro catalog. Yes, I do have a distro despite how little you hear about it. I am calling it Carrot Row Mail Order. I sell zines dealing with things like gardening, crafting, vegetarian cooking, war profiteering, fermenting, farming, etc. I have also included in the catalog some things that my friend Maaike sells: t-shirts, magnets, stickers and buttons. You can get a copy of this fine catalog (and I should add wee) by sending a 1st class U.S. stamp to the usual address:

Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843

any questions?
messyelephant@hotmail.com

"for the blood that's trapped in veins and the oxygen it claims"

-I will clean and organize my apartment.
-I will answer all my mail.
-I will finish planting my garden.
-I will listen to more punk rock.
-I will go skateboarding more often.
-I will become a master gardener.
-I will read more comic books and zines.
-I will also read more books.
-I will learn how to fall in love again.
-I will make more screenprints and blockprints.
-I will find time to play my guitar and write more punk songs.
-I will learn how to sew.
-I will work on my zines and distro.
-I will go on more long bike rides.
-I will go on more camping and fishing trips.
-I will live more simply.
-I will keep on fighting.

"I'm trying to find creative ways to keep my head out of the noose."
--J Church

"i don't feel and it feels great"

Baby Zine Library (Make It Grow)
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

I wasn't lying when I told you that my mom is not only super-awesome, but is also starting a zine library inside of the Mountain Home (Idaho) Public Library where she works. This picture shows the beginnings of it. She has a handful of other zines in her possession that need to be added, but she also needs donations...and lots of them. I hope that you understand the need for something like a zine library in a small, seemingly inconsequential Idahoan town like Mountain Home, and upon coming to such a realization are willing to donate your zine to such an endeavor. If I had come across such a thing as a youngster, I can only imagine the impact it would have had on me at such a young and impressionable age. Instead, I didn't make my first zine until I was an adult (legally, anyways).
If you have a zine to donate (please, please, please), send it to me and I will be sure that she gets it:
Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843

email me if you have any questions: messyelephant@hotmail.com

P.S. My mom loves reading zines, and I love my mom. So, don't deprive her of something she loves or I might have to hurt you.

"and all the lies and fears will stick to me like glue"

I think that I need more of this in my life:

BE THOU MY VISION (by Pedro the Lion)

"be thou my vision
oh lord of my heart
naught be all else to me
save that thou art
thou my best thought
by day or by night
waking or sleeping
thy presence my light
riches i need not
nor man's empty praise
thou my inheritance
now and always
thou and thou only
first in my heart
high king of heaven
my treasure thou art"

sorry, dude.

"i'm giving you a jar full of something awful"

juni 8
Originally uploaded by juniperbug.

As tradition would have it, I am slow at informing you about my new zine. Either way, The Juniper #8 is finished and ready to be mailed off to you (regardless of exorbitant postal charges). This issue is mostly about seeds: starting seeds indoors, purchasing seeds, seed activism, sprouting seeds. Also: car ownership and food poisoning. Send me a first class stamp, and I will send you a copy.
Dan Murphy, PO Box 3154, Moscow ID 83843

e(vil)mail: juniperjournal@hotmail.com

Some people are ingenious.

Why I Like These Plastic Cups as Planting Pots.
Originally uploaded by joeysplanting.

Oh, the possibilities. Different colored cups for different plants. Multiple options for mini-greenhouses. Inexpensive. Are polymers better than peat (environmetally speaking)? Salvage these materials to enhance your eco-savviness.
(click on the photo to find out where it's from.)

"our lives are just long saggings of the spine"

Yesterday, I went the whole day without turning on the TV in honor of TV Turnoff Week. It felt great. I noticed that I had much more time to do other things, like study for my chemistry test, listen to music, listen to NPR and college radio...plus I felt more motivated, and my convictions feel like they got a work-out. This is something that I should do more often. I definitely feel inspired to watch less TV. I really don't actually watch that much, but I tend to have it turned on a lot just to provide some white noise. Yesterday, I was reminded that there are better sources of white noise. More uplifting ones.
I listened to Doug Martsch's solo CD, and he taught me that maybe my "heart [is] too large for my sleeve," and that's probably why I keep it locked away and won't let anybody near it. And that's no way to live.

"there isn't a way of deciding
which half of life's less inviting
awake or a dream
'cause both of them lead you to suffer
you wake from one into the other
twice a day"
--Doug Martsch

"i don't know Billy Ocean, and i don't know the ocean floor"

I can't let this week go by without saying something about tv turnoff week (which surprisingly enough happens to be this week). It's an annual event supported by Adbusters Media Foundation during which people are encouraged to unplug themselves from their tv set for an entire week, or at the very least, greatly reduce their tv viewing for a week and practice responsible viewing habits. Surely there are things to be gained from such an event. Last year, this was not a problem for me because I did not have TV. This year it will prove more difficult because I have become addicted to watching the news and watching baseball games (especially Mariners baseball). Either way, I'm sure I could do without those things for a week, but I am not making any promises. I will make a pledge to reduce the amount of time I spend channel surfing and veg-ing though. I know that there is rarely anything on that's worth watching anyway. Resist the mental programming, smash your tv set on the punk rock.