Saturday, January 01, 2011

"keep it up, keep it real, and keep it punk"

If 2009 was my banner year, then 2010 was my bummer year. At times it felt as if the forces of darkness were conspiring against me, dead set on destroying me. However, I realize that the outward expression of this malfeasance was mostly non-existent (except for a few obvious exceptions which I won’t go into here). The majority of the devil’s work (whatever that means) was in my head, and it was rough for a while. Luckily, during the last few weeks of the year, things started to look a bit more promising, and I started feeling a bit more hopeful. I realize that my wallowing was mostly unwarranted. I live a good life. It’s the dim future that I worry about. At least, I've convinced myself that it’s dim. I can’t really know for sure until it gets here. I mean I’m trying to build something better, it’s just that I’m not really sure how well it’s going, and I won’t really know until I’m released from the clutches of academia and spat out into the world to fend for myself. The problem is that I constantly feel like I’m flailing towards disaster, hovering on the brink of collapse, standing at the edge of destruction, marching towards the precipice of the apocalypse, biding my time until the rapture is here and there is no more comfort left. Children of a few decades ago had nuclear annihilation to fear. Children of today instead fear poverty, joblessness, and the prospects of a polluted home planet, depleted of its resources by a blind and bullheaded populace. In other words, no future (or so it seems). But I don’t really want to wear you down with all that; after all, it’s the New Year and you’re probably looking for positivity and encouragement. So, even though all years can’t be winners, here’s hoping that 2011 is. We all really need it, I’m sure. As far as New Year’s resolutions go, I don’t usually take that sort of thing too seriously, but if I have to resolve to do something than I will just say that I resolve to listen to considerable amounts of punk rock and to smash my head with my skateboard because that’s the only thing that feels sane to me right now.

"All you need is the Ramones
No one's home but I don't feel alone
When I got the Undertones"
-The Queers

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I saw this and remembered your zines and thought you might be interested!

http://thegreenhorns.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/seeking-greenhorns-essayists/