"don't sink the boat that you built to keep afloat"

I read an awesome zine recently that I highly recommend. It's called Painting Over a Dead End City #1. There is lots of great stuff in it, like thoughts on the idea about how anarchism isn't so much about overthrowing government but outgrowing it and how girls can be pirates, too. But there was one thing that stood out to me the most - something that I can really relate to. Here is a quote:

"Social anxiety and community organizing are such a clumsy mix. I want to be a good ally to so many people and organizations working for equality, but my attempts at building community sometimes seem quite ridiculous when I'm fearful of things like calling even my good friends."

I want to be a part of the brave new world, fighting for justice and building community, but I too, am thwarted by my extreme introversion. It's a contradiction to say the very least. This has become all too evident now that I have been made president of the Soil Stewards Organic Farming Club. It has been incredibly taxing for me. I do just fine when all I have to do is volunteer a few hours of my time working on the farm or setting up and taking down our table for different events, but put me in charge and in the spotlight and all of my weaknesses come shining through quite vividly. The good thing is that the Soil Stewards are mostly made up of socially awkward folks (which is part of the reason why I fit in with them so well), still I find myself exhausted at the end of the day, not physically (or even mentally, really) but emotionally. Being the guy in charge is draining, and I'm just not cut out for it. So, I have to admit that I felt encouraged when I read Nicki's zine and was reminded that I'm not the only one. Therefore, I'll keep fighting the good fight, because it's worth it. Meanwhile, you should see if you can get a copy of her zine by sending a buck or something to:
Nicki S., PO Box 1122, Spokane WA 99210

Have you heard of a band called Fleet Foxes? They have an amazing album out that is definitely worth a listen. If you like My Morning Jacket and Band of Horses, I'm sure you'll like Fleet Foxes. Look them up. Their music will move you.

Also, I've been listening to The Mountain Goats a lot lately. I don't know why. I guess it's just that time of year.

"that's not music you hear, that's the devil
that's not the sun up in the sky, it's a human heart"
--The Mountain Goats

Do you like the gray, or should I go back to the green?