Live Journaling Sellout

I went ahead and followed the crowd and got a livejournal account. Not that anyone will want to or will ever read it...but crap man, I just feel like I'm slipping into non-existence here losing connection with everyone, and if I don't do something quick I'm just going to disappear completely - fall right off the face of the earth.
Come to think of it, maybe I should be working on tangible relationships with people who I can actually see and talk to face to face rather than penpals and online friends, but you know me, ever the social outcast (mostly on purpose).
So, if you'd like to check out my livejournal site (which will be much like this one) go to: http://www.livejournal.com/users/juniperbug
And if I never get around to adding any indymedia news to this blog then just go check it out for yourself at: www.indymedia.org

Regarding my zines, and yes I do real zines, you can order them through paypal (www.paypal.com) if you'd like. Just put a dollar or two into my paypal account and I'll send you a stack of zines - email = messyelephant@hotmail.com I am currently working on Elephant Mess #14 which should be out in about a month. Personal is pathetic. Thanks for staring at a computer screen.

Hill's Farmers Market

I told you I was going to post the address to this awesome farmers market in the Boise area, so here it is:
4380 East Fairview just past the Cloverdale intersection as your leaving Boise and entering Meridian. Seriously if you live in the area or if you're passing through you should stop by and check it out. I'm sure Doug and Co. would be happy to show you around.

I'm thinking of posting some news from indymedia.org on here to keep y'all informed. I seem to be turning into a news junkie these days....though I guess we'll see how long it lasts. If any of you have any objections to this, let me know. Also, anyone who actually reads this thing please post a comment or something and let me know. I highly doubt I have many (if any) readers. Of course, I didn't start this thing so that I could be on here every day rambling on for the world to read. It's more of a sporadic thing mostly to help get the word out about my print zines. E-zines and weblogs suck...so order some paper zines, man. If you don't want to send for mine, at least send for some one else's. Support the underground press. Speaking of which, I'm planning on starting a zine distro. My main focus will be zines about gardening, biking, cooking, doing-it-yourself and living sustainably so if you do a zine like that or if you're interested in helping out OR if you just want to tell me to not even bother and just go on with my dull and mundane existence like nothing happened then get in touch with me. My email address and po box are posted elsewhere on this blog, so what are you waiting for? Get involved!

Sorry for apologizing

I'm sorry about that last posting. I know that nobody wants to hear me ramble on - complaining about the depressing mess that my life is. I should consider my audience a little more before I go and bravely click on that bright orange 'Publish Post' button at the bottom of the page. But does this weblog even have an audience really? I didn't think so.
The new issue of Zine World (#22) showed up in my mail box today. Included inside was a review of my zine Elephant Mess #11 which I had sent them almost a year ago. Here's a sampling of the review: "Dan must be one of the most depressed people in the universe...While sometimes visually striking, overall this was really too much of a downer to be enjoyable."
Now I know for sure that people don't want to read 'depressing junk'.

I wish I had an odometer on my bike. Today I rode out to Hill's Farmer's Market on Fairview Ave. in Meridian. It didn't seem to take me that long to get there (even after making a couple of stops) but then as I turned around to head back I realized that I had been kindly helped out by a mild westbound(?) wind and now on my return trip I would have to fight against it. Needless to say, it took me a bit longer to make it back home (especially now that my backpack was full of great Farmer's Market finds). Now my leg muscles are hating me, and I still have to make it through a long nights work washing dishes. Oh well...the ride is always worth it, and if you live in the area, or if you're ever passing through, you should definitely stop by Hill's Farmer's Market (I'll post the address soon). It's worth it just for the friendly service and old country feel (it's housed in an old, renovated barn and a lot of the shelves and baskets are antique and old-fashioned).

Don't mind me...my mind just slipped.

Cheating Is The New Faithful

There is nothing much to say except that I am tired. Tired of working all the time just to barely scrape by. Tired of school even though I'm only in my first year. Tired of not being able to spend my time doing all the things that I really want to be doing. Tired of having a head full of ideas but not knowing where to begin or how to start. Tired of not having the time to figure everything out. Tired of being tired and worn out. Tired of having no one to talk to - to unload all of my thoughts on. Tired of feeling empty - like there's nothing that's tangible in my life, nothing real (everything is fake). Tired of not being able to see all of my dreams realized immediately - or even see a logical or obvious path leading to their eventual realization. Tired of mundane life rituals and mere nuanced days (as in, every day is the same regardless). Mostly, I'm just tired of being alone.
Write to me please.
Order my zine...you won't regret it - and if you do regret it, at least it won't be comparable to your other regrets cuz heaven knows that we're all drowning in a pool of them.

Do you ever feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown or that you could pass out completely at any given moment and it wouldn't even matter?
until next time... ... Happy Fat Tuesday!

The Juniper #3

The third issue of The Juniper is out now. The Juniper is my meek attempt at a gardening and sustainable living magazine. This issue includes stuff about past gardening, manipulating science for love of money, the importance of soil in agriculture, debunking monoculture, raising chickens, getting your garden started in 2005, a few recipes and some reading recommendations. All that stuff for just one 37 cent stamp. It's a steal.

Send that stamp to:
Dan Murphy
PO BOX 6352
Boise ID 83707

or contact me here:
messyelephant@hotmail.com

The New Year

"It doesn't matter how gentle you are, after fifty years, you always end up wearing away the stuff you love, rubbing it out with your fingertips, cracking the foundation every time you tap your foot. The humidity in your breath brings down paint and plaster. The weight of you, after a while, makes the planet sag." -from Dream Whip #11

It's a new year, so everything's older. If you care at all, you'll take care of yrselves - and your friends & family, too. You'll even take care of strangers.

We're getting older and we might not be able to keep from looking it, but hopefully we can keep from feeling it. So take a deep breath, savor the quiet of a calm thought and don't get too caught up in all those heavy breezes. Most of all, just enjoy being a whole year older - that'll make it easier.

Happy New Year.

Turn Your Back On Bush

George W. Bush does not represent the interests of the American people as a whole. He stole the presidency in 2000, and since then has done everything to undermine dissent and opposing views. He has trampled over our constitutional rights and waged brutal wars based on false pretenses - claiming to be fighting for freedom while making it obvious that he is only out to appease corporate interests and push his own disgusting agenda.
In a true full-participatory democracy, the President must represent and appease the interests and needs of all citizens under his/her jurisdiction.
If you didn't vote for this...
If you feel like W. is not representing you...
If you hope and dream of a more true and complete democracy...
TURN YOUR BACK ON BUSH!!

go to: www.turnyourbackonbush.org for more details.

And remember, this is only the beginning of a newfound American-blooded dissent.

The Reality Of A Dream

Some dreams just won't fade.
Where is the line between what is real and what is fake?

I had this dream a few nights ago that I just can't forget. I must have had it at least a week ago (or more) and I've played it over in my head each day since. It's almost to the point of becoming reality. I mean who's to say that it really didn't happen.....technically or figuratively.

In this dream I was with a mystery girl. I'm assuming that we were going out. But it was a short affair....and it ended in a most painful way (but don't they always?) We were sitting there in a restaurant (or were we on a train?) and we were talking - hanging out with her friends. But something was in the air - or in her drink - because suddenly we were breaking up. That is to say, she was dumping me...so I freaked out, and the only thing I could think to do was kiss her. So I did, but she wasn't kissing me back. When I pulled away, she shot back at me with these cutting words, "You know you don't always have to leave your mark!"

"That wasn't my intention," I stuttered back in attempted defense, shocked and taken aback by such an untimely comment. She continued to bombard me with the break up spouting off her reasons why it wasn't working out and how of course it was all my fault. When she was finally done she did an aboutface and began to make her exit posthaste with her friend in tow. I stopped her in her tracks with more muttering, offering her my desperate defense. I used a pitiful "despite everything" tactic, hoping to win her back with my geniuneness and authenticity, telling her that I enjoyed her company and that it meant the world to me regardless. Her and her friend just scoffed and left. And that was the end of it.

But it wasn't the end of the dream. Oh no, the dream went on, but after that it was basically just me moping around and feeling crappy. That's nothing new though. That's more of a reality than a surreality - that's what I do everyday. But there was a strange moment later on in my dream where I overheard a conversation. Someone (who knows who?) was slandering and slamming me, sharing with a group of strangers-to-me how pitiful and horrible I am. I remember trying to figure out who it was that was spreading such hateful diatribe, but no one would fess up, and I only ended up making myself look like the fool that I guess I am. And then I woke up..........................or did I?

What does all this mean? And why can't I forget it? Is it true that I'm only out to leave my mark? Am I really that horrible of a person that friends find it necessary to betray me and strangers find reason to talk crap behind my back? Are these things happening in real life? Well, not to this extent, but maybe.

I don't have time to analyze this. I'm just happy to have it down and out in the open. Feel free to post your comments. I may add more later. ...abrupt ending...

Here Is A Poem

Squished
by jessiKah dragon

i'm the fruit fly to his mango
he's the honey to my bee
i am praying to his mantis
that he'll take a shine to me -
but he trapped me in his evil web,
he has a different plan
to inspect my lovely membranous wings
while i'm wanting all sorts of other things...
he's catalogued and numbered me
and stuck me in a case,
while i lay disabled, broken,
longing for his sweet embrace -
what i got right through my thorax
was a shiny silver pin
which wrecked my life,
and broke my heart,
and sliced my insides all apart
just like a tiny guillotine
and now i'm miserably bleeding green -
coz he's the sole object of my affection,
but i'm just an insect in his collection
and there's no way we'll ever coexist ...
coz this boy's an entomologist.

Recommendation

This blog sucks. You should check out one that is actually worth reading. www.broadsides.org
I steal a lot of my ideas and thought processes from Mr. Colby, and then I claim them as my own...so, you should get them from the horse's mouth rather than be deceived into thinking that I am original and brilliant.
Plus, Mike makes more sense than I do anyway (in a neurotic and cynical sort of way).

Sprout

More shameless self-promotion. Sprout magazine reprinted a book review that I wrote in their latest issue. Sprout is a new local (Boise, ID) magazine about sustainable living, organics and alternative health care. Check them out at: http://www.sproutmagazine.com
Or you can write to me and I'll send you a copy...just send me a dollar or some stamps or something to cover postage.

Dan Murphy
PO BOX 6352
Boise ID 83707

The magazine's worth reading, and my book review pales in comparison to the remaining contents of the issue so you won't be wasting your effort.

The Juniper Journal

I guess I should tell you all about my zine/newsletter The Juniper which is the main reason for me having this blog.
The Juniper is just a little zine about gardening, bikes, sustainable living, food politics, etc. that you can order directly from me for one measly 37 cent stamp (or SASE). The latest issue is #2, and it's all about a bike tour I went on of local (Boise, ID) community gardens. It's short, but worth a stamp.
Send that stamp to:
Dan Murphy
PO BOX 6352
Boise ID 83707

I will keep you updated about forthcoming issues of The Juniper which should be bigger and better as the months go by. I also do other zines as well, so ask me about those when you write.

yeah.......

Buy Nothing Day

So I bought something on Buy Nothing Day. While I totally agree with the concept, I wonder at times what all the hooplah is actually achieving. I have plenty of Buy Nothing Days throughout the year - today wouldn't have been that big of a deal for me. The difference is that I buy what I need when I need it whereas others consume mindlessly whether they need the stuff they are buying or not. So what Buy Nothing Day is trying to achieve rather than just have one day out of the year when no one buys anything is to educate people to be more responsible about their buying habits - to practice a little self-control and don't buy so much useless crap on impulse just because some advertisement or social stigma told you that you needed it. Whether or not Buy Nothing Day is actually acheiving this is questionable...but it's a good start.

I bought something on Buy Nothing Day, but if I didn't buy it today I would have just bought it tomorrow so what's the difference? The difference is that I don't have dollar signs for eyes, and I'm trying desperately to break free from this consumerist headlock that makes me feel like I have to buy everything in sight just to prove to so some mysterious entity that I'm a good American. Blind patriotism or blind consumerism - it's all the same, so educate yourself and BREAK FREE. Any day can be Buy Nothing Day.

let's play a guessing game

Who can tell me where the title of this blog comes from? I'll give you a hint: they are lyrics to a song. I want the artist and the song title and for extra credit: which album the song is on. The winner gets a prize, but I'm not sure what yet.

this can be deleted - this is not forever

I promise I will not be one of those people who lives for the internet...

Does anyone remember that show "My So-Called Life" that used to be on MTV about 9 or 10 years ago? Well you should rent the DVDs. I had forgotten how well I could relate to that show back in high school. Am I loser because I can still relate to it so well? Is my life really that pathetic.

Oh no....what have I done?