"the unexamined life is not worth living"

Seasons Greetings Citizens.

I am in the midst of my holiday break. Are you?
I don't have too much to report, but I did want to let you know about a zine I recently read. It's called Greenwoman #3, and it's "dedicated to bees and their keepers." In this issue, Sandra writes all about bees and also includes some bee-themed writing from other authors. Sandra's obsession with bees is no secret, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. Bees are a gardener's best friend, and eaters all over the world should be grateful that those busy pollinators are around, making harvest possible. Sandra writes about assisting with a swarm capture, observing honeybees in the wild, and touring a meadery (mead = honey wine). Also included are several lists of plants that attract bees, some interesting facts about bees, a few recipes that call for bee products (including baklava and beeswax lip balm) and two bee-themed movie reviews. If you haven't yet had a chance to read an issue of Greenwoman, take the opportunity now. Send $3.50 to Sandra/Greenwoman, PO Box 6587, Colorado Springs CO 80934-6587, sandra@sandraknauf.com. (Issues #1 and #2 can be ordered from Sandra or from Carrot Row.)

Rumor has it that members of the band, Broken Social Scene, are currently dating characters from Sesame Street. Is this true?

Also: If it hurts to hold, just let it go.

"i don't listen to the suits behind the desk no more"

I finally finished putting together another Carrot Row catalog. You can get a copy by sending me a stamp, or you can just keep on reading and you'll get the basic idea.

Carrot Row Mail Order is a small, laid back zine distro with a focus on DIY zines that, for the most part, promote a simpler life. Gardening, bike riding, composting, cooking, and crafting are just a few of the topics discussed in the zines featured in this catalog. These zines will not only entertain you, but educate you as well, and that is the whole point of The Carrot Row. If you have a zine that you think would fit in well with this ideology, please send it my way and maybe we can work something out. Otherwise, browse the list and pick out a zine or two to add to your collection. You won’t be disappointed.

Agriculture Biotechnology (free)
A genetic engineering primer (if you eat food, you should know about this stuff).

Axis of Evil ($2)
Recipes from the Axis of Evil. A case against war. A plea for cultural diversity.

Chickeney #1 & #2 ($1 each)
Sam’s fascination with chickens and living the slow life.

CROQ #4 & #5 ($2 each)
The craft revolution is here. Where were you during the craft takeover?

Dimanche #5 ($2) & #6 ($1)
A food/perzine. Recipes, food tips/ideas, and a glimpse into Sabrina’s life.

Dumpsterland #11 ($1)
Classic hobo-punk zine about dumpster diving and composting.

EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack! #1 & #2 ($1 each)
Maaike’s sustainability zine: reduce, reuse, recycle, repurpose and BUY LOCAL.

Farmer’s Daughter #2 ($1)
A farm zine written by a farm girl. Cow drawings and photographs included.

Fatty Boom Boom #3 (stamp/$0.50)
Vegan cookzine from English punk rocker.

Greasespot #4 ($3)
Punk rock stories by Texan punk rockers.

Greenwoman #1 & #2 ($3 each)
Sandra’s zine about gardening and being politically active. A gardening zine with lots to offer.

Punkman ($2)
Maaike’s comic about a punk rock superhero. Dumpster diving for the people. Do you believe in justice?

Resist #46 ($3)
Matte is back with more stories about bikes, gardening, parenting and DIY adulthood.

Spat Back #3 ($0.50)
DIY punk mini-zine from England.

Seattle DIY ($2)
Punk rock guide to Seattle, WA.

Sixth Minky’s Guide to Herbs ($1)
Maaike teaches you how to grow and harvest herbs for all your culinary needs.

Take It – It’s My Body ($3)
Chelsea’s zine about fat acceptance for the fat revolution.

Ordering stuff is simple. Just write me a note telling me what you want. Put the note in an envelope along with the cash (or we could also work out a trade) and mail that envelope here:

Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843
USA

When ordering multiple zines, please add a dollar or two or a few stamps to help with shipping.

Questions? Email:
messyelephant@hotmail.com

P.S. The Carrot Row will soon be restructuring. The mail order is dissolving but not right away. Stay tuned to learn more about a new website and a new direction.

"you can't trust a heart that was cold from the start"

Elephant Mess #20
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

"...don't waste your time on it."

I am ashamed to admit that I have finished another issue of Elephant Mess. I am hesitant to even tell you about it. It is an embarrassment. It is more sappy pap, and it's hopeless. Bring on the melodrama! Why do I have to be so "emo"? The worst thing about it is that most of the writing is old (whether it be several years or several months), and I don't really feel that way anymore. I'm over it, okay. Now leave me alone. Anyway, I figured I better at least get it out there so that I can move on. I have big plans for future EM's, so if you'd like to just pass on this one and wait for something better, that's fine with me. I wouldn't blame you. But if you're brave enough to see what all the fuss is about, then send me a couple bucks or some stamps or a trade, and I'll send (albeit reluctantly) a copy your way.

Dan Murphy
PO BOX 3154
Moscow ID 83843
USA
messyelephant@hotmail.com

"you could play all day
and tell your friends that everything's alright
the truth is that your heart collapsed
two years ago tonight"
-bayside

"all fallen leaves should curse their branches"

The results are in: Obama wins.
Hooray for rhetorical change: change you can believe in as long as it's not too specific.
Yes, of course I prefer Obama over McCain by far. And yes, of course I think it's awesome (incredible, really) that we have elected our first African-American President, and I am excited about that. BUT, the corporate state remains in tact, and the brutal war machine rages on. Let's not kid ourselves, the ensuing "change" as a result of an Obama Presidency will most likely be mild. Obama is, after all, a timid reformer and a BFF of the corporations and Wall Street. My question is, now that Obama has reached celebrity status and millions of Americans have fallen madly in love with him, swooning over his flowery speeches and endless charm, are these same people who elected him President ready to stand up, take to the streets and protest any bad policy that he attempts to push across (or under) the table during his Presidency, the same way that proud Americans have done for centuries. The act of protest against those in power is an American tradition. My point is that now that the elections are over and Obama has won, it is time to put our Barack-star worship aside and hold him to his promises and push him to make even greater promises (especially since his promises weren't all that great to begin with). We need to be willing to exercise our right to voice our opinions (beyond simply voting) regardless of who is President. Can we do that? Only time will tell.

Chris Hedges has enumerated a few things about President-elect Barack Obama to help us begin our protesting:

-his vote to renew the Patriot Act
-his votes to continue to fund the Iraq War
-his backing of the FISA Reform Act
-his craven courting of the Isreali lobby
-his support of the death penalty
-his refusal to champion universal, single-payer, not-for-profit health care for all Americans
-his call to increase troop levels and expand the war in Afghanistan
-his failure to call for a reduction in the bloated and wasteful defense spending
-his lobbying for the huge taxpayer swindle known as the bailout

As Hedges says, these are things that are "repugnant to most of us on the left." Hedges goes on to say that "there will be under Obama marginal improvements for some Americans although the corporate state, as Obama knows, will remain our shadow government and the working class will continue to descend into poverty. Democratic administrations have, at least until Bill Clinton, been more receptive to social programs that provide benefits, better working conditions and higher wages. An Obama presidency, however, will make no difference to those in the Middle East...I cannot support any candidate who does not call for immediate withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan and an end to Israeli abuse of Palestinians."

One more thing: It's November 5th. It's time to go to work.

"all fallen leaves should curse their branches
for not letting them decide where they should fall
and not letting them refuse to fall at all."
-David Bazan

"open your throat and just scream"

The elections are less than a week away, so even though you may be getting sick of my posts, I feel like there is a sense of urgency about this stuff, so I just wanted to pass along a couple more things that I think are important.
First, I am sure you are aware that none of the third party/independent candidates were allowed at the Presidential debates. This is because the debate commission is a private, corporate entity headed by former heads of the Republican and Democratic National Committees, and they make it pretty much impossible for any other candidate to be included (another good reason to dismantle this corporate duopoly). Luckily there is an organization called Free and Equal Elections that has been organizing some third party debates under the premise that free and equal elections are guaranteed in the constitution (see Article I: Section 3). You can watch a debate that aired on C-SPAN a week or so ago between Constitution Party Presidential candidate, Chuck Baldwin, and independent Presidential candidate, Ralph Nader, on cspanjunkie.org.

Also, Raplh Nader's running mate, Matt Gonzalez, recently posted an article exposing many of the lies and capitulations of Obama and the Democratic Party. I don't think it's necessary to enumerate the crimes and gross errors of the Republican Party, they are all very obvious, but sometimes we need to be reminded that the Democrats are just as guilty and have committed countless atrocities of their own and that there is really no difference between the two - they are after all, as Noam Chomsky said, just two factions of the Business Party. So, what else do they have to do before they finally lose your vote? You can read the entire article here; it's pretty long (as there are many things to expose) but it's worth reading. Here are a few paragraphs from it:

"[Democrats] also like to say that voting for Nader is throwing your vote away. The Democrats often cite the 2000 election to blame Nader for Bush’s victory. But they noticeably never mention the 1992 election, when Bill Clinton won because Ross Perot 'spoiled' the race for George Bush’s father, an incumbent president. By the way, Clinton got only 43 percent of the vote in 1992 compared to 48 percent by Bush in 2000.

"And they offer no explanation for why they haven’t worked on election reform since 2000. Imagine claiming your political party lost the presidency because the 'winner' was declared even though he hadn’t won a majority of the votes cast? Then imagine doing nothing to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Isn’t it odd that the Democrats haven’t worked on election reform in the past eight years?

"They never will change the system because the way things are now, they can be assured that they will be in office roughly half the time. They also count on people to accept their arguments that Nader and other third parties aren’t polling high enough to get your vote; that the real contest is between just two candidates.

"If all else fails, they argue that it’s the most important election of your lifetime. I’m 43 years old and I’ve heard this argument each time the presidential race has come up.

"If you accept these arguments, you are in effect rewarding the two parties for not fixing how we do elections in this country. You reward them for creating the Commission on Debates. You guarantee that things will not change. And you ensure that candidates that support single-payer health care, decent wages and pensions for workers, controls on corporations and a foreign policy based on achieving peace rather than driven by self-interest, cannot ever be heard.

"Nader wants a more humane and democratic society. He’s seen that you can’t get anything done in Washington because senators like Obama and McCain ignore what’s good for Americans in pursuit of their own interests. Sure McCain talks like a maverick and Obama talks like a revolutionary, but look closely and you will see repeated capitulations to the very entities our government needs to get away from if we are to build a more democratic society."

On election day, please vote for Decentralized Government for and by the People, and not for a continuation of Centralized Corporate Rule. Say no to the lowest common denominator. Say yes to the superlative.

...less than two weeks away...

NO to the Republicrats
No to the Demicans
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to the Corporacrats
NO to Big Money
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to the Kleptocrats
NO to the Fat Cats
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to Big Lobby
NO to Corporate Endorsements
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to Endless War
NO to "Foreign Enemies"
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to Broken Economy
NO to Job Losses
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

NO to the Corporate Future
NO to the Corporate Takeover
YES to the People
YES to INDEPENDENT

PLEASE, THINK ABOUT IT.
THE CORPORATE FUTURE ABOUNDS.
BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.
LEGIONS OF YOUNG VOTERS DO NOT HAVE TO BE DISILLUSIONED.
THERE ARE VOICES AGAINST THE POWERFULL.
SEEK OUT THE INDEPENDENTS.
LISTEN TO THEIR MESSAGES.
CHOOSE THE PEOPLE...NOT THE POWERFUL.
VOTE INDEPENDENT. PLEASE.

I realize that ANARCHY is our ultimate goal, but how else are we going to get there if we don't get these KLEPTOCRATS/BIG LOBBY SYMPATHIZERS out of power. YES to the PEOPLE. YES to INDEPENDENT. That is my plea. I make it in earnest. Please vote your conscience and not the lesser of two evils. Read the constitution; I know it will depress you, but do it. We have lost sight of our goal: Of the people, by the people, for the people - NOT of the corporations, by the Demicans, for the Republicrats. Vote for the people. Vote independent. PLEASE.

That's all for now. HAPPY HALLOWEEN. (end corporate rule, i beg of you...)

GOOD NIGHT.

"i'm the fort knox of secrets"

The Presidential elections are coming up, so I guess I better put my two cents in. I am not in any position to tell anyone how to vote, people should vote their conscience, and that’s a personal choice. Nor do I know for sure if voting really even counts for anything (remember what happened in 2000?); the jury is still out on that one. What I do know is that things are wrong and stuff is broken, and something has got to change, radically and thoroughly. We need a revamping. A complete overhaul.

It was Noam Chomsky who said, “the United States effectively has a one-party system, the business party, with two factions, Republicans and Democrats.”

I have never considered myself a member of any specific political party. And like many people (perhaps even most people), I am tired of this corporate duoply. Personally, I believe that if votes are going to be cast, they should be cast for independent candidates. Unless you whole-heartedly believe in what either the Democrats or the Republicans stand for, don’t vote for them. Why perpetuate this sick and sorry tradition of voting for the lesser of two evils? I wouldn’t be able to feel good about myself if I voted for someone who I didn’t fully believe in under the premise that, well, at least he/she is better than the alternative. Vote your conscience. Take pride in your decision. Stand up for your beliefs, and don’t back down. Don’t settle.

This country will never have a viable third party (or a second party if you consider what Chomsky said), if people don’t first begin to cast their votes for independent candidates. Consider this, if all you watch, listen to or read is mainstream news, you would most likely never know that there are actually several other candidates running for President besides just ObaMcCain. The corporations have taken over, and the Republicrats (aka Kleptocrats) are fully entrenched in the corporate army. It’s time for something different, don’t you think?

A few demands:

-Kick the crooks out of Washington.

-Reverse gangster capitalism.

-Give the people the power that the Constitution guarantees them.

-Smash the corporate duopoly.

“A vote cast for a Republican or a Democrat is a wasted vote because it ensures that nothing will change.” –Bob Barr, Libertarian Presidential Candidate

"don't sink the boat that you built to keep afloat"

I read an awesome zine recently that I highly recommend. It's called Painting Over a Dead End City #1. There is lots of great stuff in it, like thoughts on the idea about how anarchism isn't so much about overthrowing government but outgrowing it and how girls can be pirates, too. But there was one thing that stood out to me the most - something that I can really relate to. Here is a quote:

"Social anxiety and community organizing are such a clumsy mix. I want to be a good ally to so many people and organizations working for equality, but my attempts at building community sometimes seem quite ridiculous when I'm fearful of things like calling even my good friends."

I want to be a part of the brave new world, fighting for justice and building community, but I too, am thwarted by my extreme introversion. It's a contradiction to say the very least. This has become all too evident now that I have been made president of the Soil Stewards Organic Farming Club. It has been incredibly taxing for me. I do just fine when all I have to do is volunteer a few hours of my time working on the farm or setting up and taking down our table for different events, but put me in charge and in the spotlight and all of my weaknesses come shining through quite vividly. The good thing is that the Soil Stewards are mostly made up of socially awkward folks (which is part of the reason why I fit in with them so well), still I find myself exhausted at the end of the day, not physically (or even mentally, really) but emotionally. Being the guy in charge is draining, and I'm just not cut out for it. So, I have to admit that I felt encouraged when I read Nicki's zine and was reminded that I'm not the only one. Therefore, I'll keep fighting the good fight, because it's worth it. Meanwhile, you should see if you can get a copy of her zine by sending a buck or something to:
Nicki S., PO Box 1122, Spokane WA 99210

Have you heard of a band called Fleet Foxes? They have an amazing album out that is definitely worth a listen. If you like My Morning Jacket and Band of Horses, I'm sure you'll like Fleet Foxes. Look them up. Their music will move you.

Also, I've been listening to The Mountain Goats a lot lately. I don't know why. I guess it's just that time of year.

"that's not music you hear, that's the devil
that's not the sun up in the sky, it's a human heart"
--The Mountain Goats

Do you like the gray, or should I go back to the green?

"young hearts should explode from all the lies they've been told"

The Juniper: Summer 2008
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

I finished the summer supplement of The Juniper #10, just like I promised I would. It's mostly pictures - kind of like a picture diary. It just shows what I've been up to this summer. You should get yourself a copy. Just send a stamp or a nice letter or some sort of trade to me:
Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843
USA

Also, I am back on the air again. A new semester is in full swing, which means a new schedule of radio shows at the student radio station (KUOI 89.3 FM). My show is called The Vegetable Patch, and it airs every Tuesday morning (until the end of this semester) from 6-8:30am pacific time. You can listen online at www.kuoi.org

I gave myself a paper cut today trying to open the envelope that held the brand new issue of Zine World. Consider that a plug for one of the best zine review zines around. (Plus they said that I am friendly and unpretentious. At least somebody thinks so.)

Okay, that's all.

"if i could get anything done, maybe i'd hold still"

I read a lot, but I don't read books much. I read zines. However, recently something came over me, and I decided to read a book. And I even read it in less than a month (the last book I read took me at least a year to finish). It was pretty short though, but who's keeping track?
The book I read is called Biodiesel Power by Lyle Estill. In it, Lyle talks passionately about his experience with the biodiesel movement and community. He began as a backyard brewer and evolved into the founder of a biodiesel co-op (called Piedmont Biofuels) and a prominent voice for the biofuels industry. Certainly biofuels are not without controversy, especially these days with all of the handouts and subsidies offered by our current administration to Big Agriculture and Big Oil for their participation in biofuels (and of course the moral dilema of using farmland to grow fuel instead of food), but Lyle understands sustainability, and his passion for biodiesel is rooted in that. That's what makes his views so intriguing and relevant. I highly recommend this book and will soon be reading Lyle's other book, Small is Possible, which I'm sure will be just as good, if not better.

A quote from the final chapter:
"Biodiesel is great fun. It's empowering. Nothing feels better than tooling down the highway with the knowledge that you are free. Free of Chevron. Free of Mobil. Free of George Bush. Free of the Saudis. Free of the whole sorry lot. I realize full well that hydrogen is the place to be, but I'm stuck on vegetable oil. It's here now. It works. It's renewable. It's sustainable. It smells good. It creates jobs in the United States. And there is no war required to get it."

Bonus quote:
"I find myself unwilling to abide sheer stupidity."

Also, check out Lyle's Energy Blog.

"girls have those eyes that will cut you to ribbons sometimes"

The last list of the month. It's another small one.

The 5 DVDs at the Top of My Netflix Queue
1. Trailer Park Boys, Seasons 1 & 2 Disc 3
2. Dan in Real Life
3. Undertow
4. Noam Chomsky: Distorted Morality
5. Batman: Gotham Knight

A radio show/podcast recommendation especially for you: Destination DIY
Check it out for sure. The latest episode is about urban farming.

Fall semester has begun. Is summer really coming to an end? I guess Donald Draper was right. That's a bummer.

"how can i convince you it's me i don't like"

This week's list is a short one, but I don't want to hear any complaining or I'll take away your driving privileges.

Top Five Clubs That I Must See A Show In Before I Die (in no particular order)
-40 Watt Club in Athens, GA
-924 Gilman Street in Berkeley, CA
-ABC No Rio in New York City, NY
-Emo's in Austin, TX
-Crystal Ballroom in Portland, OR

CBGB in NYC would of course be on this list if it hadn't closed down a couple years ago. I'm sure there are lots of others that I could add, but my mind is blank right now.

"I've got one hand on the wheel
the other's out the window
with a smile on my face
my middle finger's up."
-Less Than Jake

"i'm trying to find creative ways to keep my head out of the noose"

This week's list:

Complete Albums That I Have Listened To Since Last Tuesday (8/5)
-Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - s/t
-Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
-Animal Collective - Feels
-Stephen Malkmus + The Jicks - Pig Lib
-Blonde Redhead - Fake Can Be Just As Real
-Free Kitten - Inherit
-The Sissies - Look Back and Laugh
-Rosa - I Mississippi You
-J Church - One Mississippi
-Radiohead - Hail to the Theif
-Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
-Brandtson - Send Us a Signal

"I can drink myself to sleep
and hopefully forget to breath
I hate what I've done to my life."
-J Church

"1960, I am so over you."

Didn't I say something about posting a weekly list here on this blog? I'm pretty sure I did.

Things That I Harvested From My Garden This Week (8/5 - 8/9)
-Spearmint
-Mache (aka corn salad or lamb's lettuce)
-Onion
-Rosemary
-Lettuce
-Carrots
-Arugula (aka Rocket)
-Summer Savory
-Lemon Balm
-Korean Mint

Does urban/suburban farming interest you? Even if it doesn't, you should still check out this video. It's all about growing your own food, which is possible even if you live in an urban setting (and even if you are a renter). I like the guy's opinions about cohabiting with the insects and seed-saving. Something else you should check out is a documentary called The End of Suburbia. Perhaps you can find it at your local library or video store.

Also, a post on livejournal brought to my attention a little website called Zine Classifieds. I haven't posted anything on it yet, but it may be of interest to you.

"I know people say life goes on, and it does. But no one tells you that's not a good thing." -Betty Draper on Mad Men

"i wanna be jackie onassis. i wanna wear a pair of dark sunglasses."

People were posting these lists on facebook, and so I figured I had to do one, too. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But then it gave me this idea: since I like making lists and today is the first day of a new month, I am going to post a new list on here for each week of this month. They won't all be so long (in fact, they will be considerably shorter), and they will all have different themes. Just something to waste your time with, because that's all the internet seems to be for these days anyway.

101 Things You Probably Could Have Guessed About Me

1. I like to make lists.
2. I am fascinated by bugs.
3. I have been doing zines for eleven years and have made more than 50 of them.
4. I very rarely get bored.
5. I wish that I could be a nomad, but I’m not cut out for it.
6. I don’t like to drive.
7. I’ve been playing guitar for more than 13 years and I still suck.
8. I’ve been skateboarding for almost 13 years and I still suck.
9. I have several dozen pen pals (I don’t really want to take the time to figure out the exact number).
10. I’m a vegetarian…except when I eat the fish that I catch myself.
11. I like to keep secrets.
12. I like wearing glasses. I prefer them to contacts.
13. On that note…I’m attracted to girls who wear glasses.
14. I probably don’t trust you.
15. I was in a punk band back in the day. I will be in a punk band again someday.
16. My career goal is to be a rooftop gardener.
17. I am a fierce independent and a defiant individualist.
18. I think that celebrity crushes are lame, but I still have a few.
19. I probably don’t believe you.
20. I am rarely lonely alone.
21. I am not in love.
22. I am obsessed with the numbers seven and eleven.
23. I am rarely without a pen and paper in my pocket, and when I am, I feel unprepared.
24. I taught myself how to screenprint.
25. I wish that I could hibernate in the winter.
26. I have a mumbling problem and my voice is too quite.
27. I could probably sing better if my voice were louder.
28. I don’t like lima beans.
29. My brothers are my best friends.
30. I used to hate Idaho; now I think it’s an okay place (but Rigby can still burn in hell).
31. My favorite kind of music is punk rock, and my favorite band is Sonic Youth.
32. I have a goal to ride my bike across an entire state…I’d prefer it to be one of the larger states so that I don’t look like a total wimp (even though I am).
33. I have often thought that marriage is weird…but at least it means fewer taxes.
34. I refuse to have a pet (dog, cat, whatever) until I know for sure that I can give it the time that it requires and deserves.
35. I had three dogs when I was a kid, and they all had to be given away for various reasons.
36. I named my first dog, Buck, after the dog in the book, The Call of the Wild.
37. I am addicted to sugar.
38. I once went a whole year without drinking any soda, and then when I drank it again it made me sick.
39. I wish that I could remember what it feels like to have a lasting crush on someone.
40. I love being a bachelor.
41. For a long time, I was intimidated by comic books; now, I can’t get enough of them.
42. My new favorite comic book hero is the Blue Beetle.
43. I am not a group conversationalist.
44. I feel the most alive when I am either on my bike or my skateboard.
45. It takes me forever to write papers for school because I agonize so much about word placement and sentence structure. It is taking me forever to write this list for that same reason.
46. I became obsessed with baseball on my ninth birthday.
47. I used to shoplift incessantly, and sometimes I wish that I still did.
48. My brothers and friends got caught shoplifting, but I didn’t.
49. I like to stay up late and wake up early…sleep is for wimps.
50. I wish that humans didn’t have to sleep.
51. I think that I would make a pretty good spy.
52. I am trying to make my first batch of compost. It’s going pretty well.
53. My mom thinks that I’d be happier if I were married. (See number 40.)
54. I hate spitting, but for some reason, I spit a lot when I am riding my bike.
55. Commas, are an, over-used, punctuation.
56. I have probably judged you unfairly.
57. I enjoy washing dishes.
58. I love cooking, but I don’t like cooking for other people.
59. I consider myself a luddite, but in many ways I am also technophile.
60. When I lived at home with my family, I spent a large amount of my time alone in my room even when everyone else was busy doing things together (and by “doing things together” I mean watching TV).
61. I am the king of awkwardness.
62. I am very self-aware.
63. My favorite kinds of movies are indie dramas and comedies
64. I rarely read fiction, but I would like to start writing fiction again someday.
65. I am working on a concept album (but I say that mostly to make myself sound cool).
66. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
67. I find little things funny that most other people don’t, so when I am laughing at something, it’s difficult to explain why.
68. I am much more eloquent in my head than I am in conversation.
69. I am much more eloquent on paper but still not as eloquent as I am in my head.
70. I started writing my memoirs, but gave up.
71. I want to hitchhike someday.
72. I can tell you which copy machine in town makes the best copies.
73. I wish that I wasn’t so selfish.
74. I know that I said I like making lists, but I am getting tired of making this one.
75. I used to pretend to like things just so that people would like me.
76. I still think a lot about the girl that I had a crush on in junior high.
77. I love watching/listening to/reading the news.
78. I consider myself a closet socialist…decentralized socialism, that is.
79. I don’t own a pair of jeans because I don’t like wearing them.
80. I rarely wear shorts and I rarely go sockless (which apparently makes my brother uncomfortable).
81. I only like swimming occasionally and not for very long.
82. I almost drowned in a river when I was a little kid. My dad and grandpa saved my life. I think that’s why I hate being under water.
83. My favorite book when I was a kid was, My Side of the Mountain, and so I tried to find reasons to run away and live by myself in the woods.
84. I’m terrible at giving compliments.
85. I’m not as good a listener as some people think I am, but I’m working on it.
86. I used to think that I’d be dead at thirty; now, I’m sure that I will live into my nineties.
87. I love simplicity and minimalism.
88. I am torn between wanting to live in a big city and wanting to live in a small town.
89. There is music in my head constantly.
90. I wanted to major in communications but I was too scared/intimidated, so I chose horticulture.
91. I often feel cosmically misplaced, like I was meant for another time and place but was accidentally put in this time and place (unfortunately).
92. I’m very keen on expanding my vocabulary.
93. You make me nervous.
94. I think that confidence is a very attractive trait.
95. I have two bum knees.
96. I wish that I lived by the ocean.
97. One of the best things about living with my parents was that I could play my guitar as loud as I wanted to and no one cared.
98. I think that Northern California should be its own state.
99. I hate commercials and I hate how they are usually louder than the TV programs.
100. I want to be in a New York City noise band.
101. I’m over it.

"burn out switch is hit...instant meltdown...freak fry the ghost town"

Punkman Comic
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

I have awesome friends who do awesome things:

My friend, Maaike, here in Moscow (Idaho) just put out a full color comic called Punkman. It's a fictional story with a conscience, and the main character is based on me. (I should say loosely, but I would also like to believe that I really am as cool as Punkman [even though I know I'm not]...so, I'm torn.) You can order a copy for yourself from either me (Dan M., Po Box 3154, Moscow ID 83843 USA) or Maaike D. (PO Box 8891, Moscow ID 83843 USA). The cost is two dollars or equal trade.

Another friend, Chelsea, in Portland OR just informed me that she recently started a blog called, Flavor Vegan, on which she is sharing her vast knowledge about cooking vegan food. And trust me, her knowledge really is vast. She develops her own recipes and cooks like a pro. Her blog includes tips, recipes, etc. and is definitely worth checking out.

As a side note:
The new Free Kitten album, Inherit, is incredibly awesome and totally worth the eleven year wait. Listen to it soon, please. Your mind will be blown.

"Yeah, I'll always be your friend...
at least just till the end."
-thurston moore ("Fri/end")

"with every broken heart, we should become more adventurous"

Today is the fourth of July. The only thing that really means to me is that summer break is half over. School will be starting up again in about a month and half. Make the most of it, eh?

I finished reading another travel zine. It also happened to be about a trip to Europe. (I'm noticing a theme here.) Sarah Contrary went on a three month bike tour or Europe, alone. She wrote about it in Glossolalia #8. I bought this zine almost two years ago at Reading Frenzy in Portland, Oregon. It has taken me this long to finally read it. I have read past issues of Glossolalia, and they were great. This issue was no exception.

A coupla qoutes:
"[In France,] people always asked me if I was anything but American. They asked me if I was Italian or Spanish or British or even German. I don't know if they really thought that or if maybe it is just such a horrific insult to mistake someone for an American that no one will ever venture to ask unless you offer. When I said I was American, I always made sure to look sheepish. As long as I made it clear that I was enormously embarrassed by my country of origin, no one ever gave me a hard time, but every person I talked to for more than five minutes wanted to know why we drive such big cars."

"Sometimes it's hard to realize that no matter how hard you push yourself, there are some things you'll never be."

-You should read an issue of Glossolalia. It will inspire you to want to go on a bicycle trip. I get more excited about the idea with each issue that I read. GO BY BIKE!
-I also want to be in a New York City noise band. I even have a band name picked out and everything.
-Note to self: you are the king of awkwardness.
-This internet stuff is weird. Seriously.

"You say I choose sadness,
that it never once has chosen me,
maybe you're right."
-rilo kiley

"i'll love you forever if i ever love at all"

During the summer, I try to get caught up on my zine reading. I don't think it's humanly possible to ever get caught up though, but I do what I can.
Recently I finished reading two zines that were somewhat similar in content. They were, for the most part, travel zines, and they both included trips to Europe. They have both been around for quite a while I guess. I'm glad that I finally got around to reading them, because they were both totally worth reading. They were:
-America? #14 by Travis F.
-Dream Whip #14 by Bill B.

Here are a few quotes from Dream Whip:
"In Austin, it was impossible to go on a simple errand without falling in love. Every time I mailed a letter, or went to buy a loaf of bread, I'd wind up with a broken heart." (pg. 32-33)
"The Berlin train pulls confidently out of Rotterdam's central station and speeds forward with a kind of assurance I can only dream of having. Me and my hesitant forward motion. Always shuffling and second-guessing." (pg. 165)
"For the first time in a couple months, my passport matches the country I'm coming into. 'Citizenship?' the border cop asks. 'American,' I say. 'Unfortunately,' I want to add, but I don't. I don't mention that I feel more like a dual citizen: American by birth, but Unamerican by inclination." (pg. 244-245)
"While I eat my ice cream, I think about happiness. How it's always temporary and unpredictable, and how most of the time, you don't even recognize it till later, when you're far away from it. Sadness sticks around. It's like your most reliable friend. You can be yourself around sadness. It'll drive across the country with you and it won't complain if the food is bad or if the motel has roaches. But happiness is a different story. It's always ditching you. Leaving you stuck with the bill. There's no one you'd rather spend your time with, and happiness knows it." (pg. 251-252)

Oh, and just like I promised, I added more links.

"it's not pretty, i know...but still, this is who i'll always be"

Stranger things have happened, but on June 10, 2008, it snowed in Moscow, Idaho. What the...? I can only wait for so long for summer to come, and then I may be forced to take drastic actions. I haven't decided what those drastic actions will be yet, but trust me, they will be drastic.

After sending zines to Wyoming and Oklahoma, I am down to my last three states, and then my Elephant Mess U.S. Takeover will be complete. The last three states are: North Dakota, South Carolina and Mississippi. 2009 could be the year that Elephant Mess rules the Western world...or not.

My friend, Maaike, is selling her sock monkeys; plus she has an awesome zine called The Sixth Minky. I have added a link to her blog in my links section, so check it out. I plan on adding more links to my links section in the near future (maybe), so be in touch.

"Bothell is beautiful in the fall
Days of my youth were not so long ago
I learned things here that some men never see
The lucky ones know exactly what I mean."
-Rocky Votolato

Oh yeah...I turned thirty.

"the devil didn't make me do it...you did"

The Juniper #10
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

Um...I guess it's been done for a couple of weeks now, but I have just been slow to tell you. Either way, The Juniper #10 is out now and ready to be disseminated. It's a short read, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it. I wrote about food preservation, critical mass, food not bombs, etc. Plus I included a recipe for seitan which you should really try. You know the deal: stamp by mail or free in person. I also enjoy trades, but this issue is pretty small, so if you do send a trade, I can pretty much guarentee you that I'll be getting a better deal than you will.
Send your stamp (or trade or even just a friendly letter) to:
Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843
USA
Contact me if you are interested in helping me with distribution: juniperjournal@hotmail.com

"let it go...the damage in your heart"

I was going to blog about something, but then I forgot.

I was also going to blog about this:
I was on vacation visiting my family. I read a zine that I really liked. It's called Hip Hop Don't Stop. If you have never read an issue of said zine, you are missing out. Tyler's zine is awesome, and it just keeps getting better with each issue (he's up to issue #7). Tyler has graduated college and is adjusting to "the real world." His thoughts and observations about and inspired by such things are intriguing. Tyler is a guy I can relate to, and when I read his words I feel like I'm having a conversation with my brother or a good friend. Oh...but don't steal Tyler's yooper scooper, or else he'll be PISSED.

If I ever remember what I was going to blog about, I'll let you know.

"one more loss in a losing life
doesn't hurt so bad, anymore"
-weezer

"american flags are haunting the fortunate sons"

Spring is in full swing. New zines are in the works. The garden is nearly planted. The farm is sure to be a success. No one is twitterpated...because love is a myth.

Two new zines have been added to the Carrot Row Mail Order catalog:
Dimanche #5 - Sabrina offers a plethora of recipes and food tips, recommends restaurants, survives a tooth extraction, sings praises to cookies and cupcakes, and gives updates about her young son. $2.
Dumpsterland #11 - Not a new zine, but a definite classic. Dave writes about dumpster diving, the evils of the trash compactor, composting both your crap and your food and yard waste, a DIY pressure cooker, and more. All from a hobo-punk perspective. $1.

dan murphy
po box 3154
moscow id 83843
usa

Have you seen the movie, Rocket Science? It's incredible. Hal Hefner is one of my new heroes. We are all so messed up. Hallelujah.

"to find someone you love, you've gotta be someone you love"

Another semester down! Only two more to go, and I am out of this Idaho-hole.
Do you know what this means? It means that summer is here...prematurely. I get to start working 40 hours a week, but more importantly I get to start gardening/farming and I don't have to worry about classes and schoolwork for three plus months. I can read whatever I want, which means that I hope to get caught up on my zine reading and zine writing. I will keep you posted on such things. It shouldn't take me too long to finish the tenth issue of The Juniper, and then after that, the twentieth issue of Elephant Mess. Just in time for me to turn thirty. 10. 20. 30. The planets must be aligned. Get in touch soon. I miss you. This warm weather has me feeling less empty. More hopeful, in other words. More posts are fast approaching. Stay tuned.

"i spend all my energy staying upright."
-nada surf

"i heard from someone you're still pretty"

Hello earthlings: Happy Earth Day!
Did you save the planet, yet? Or is it too late? Calamity is sure to ensue, but hopefully we can soften the blow somehow.

Here is something for you to check out. If I had the National Geographic Channel, I would watch this. Instead, I am going to have to watch it on DVD. I hope that you will watch it, too.

Also, I have finally added some links. Check those out, too. I will add more later when I'm a little less busy.

"Where in hell can you go?
Far from the things that you know,
Far from the sprawl of concrete that keeps crawling its way
About a thousand miles a day."
-Natalie Merchant

Human Footprint.

"my heart's an autoclave"

Remember a while back when I was posting here every time I read a zine? That was weird.

Over a year ago, I received a zine in the mail called Phases of the Moon #2: I'm ready to grow young again. It's written by Ms. Skeleton Key. It has sat around in my apartment all this time, and now I finally got around to reading it. It was about time.

Ms. Skeleton Key's zine is awesome. Even though her story is much different from mine, I found so many things in her words that I could relate to. Much of what she wrote was just what I needed to hear right now. How serendipitous. Here is a random quote:

"This is a year of yesses (sic), and I speak in absolutes."

Is winter over, yet?

"I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
and no one in her right mind would make my home her home."
-The Mountain Goats

"i know it's hard when we sell plasma to pay for dinner"

Some things:

-Baseball is back.
-Winter is still here.
-My hands are chronically dry.
-I am not the enabler, but I am the procrastinator.
-I am subscribed to the votenader.org emails. Look at the one I got today; It's right on.

"You have to wonder about self-proclaimed 'progressives.'

Take Matthew Rothschild, for example.

He's a self-proclaimed progressive.

He's the editor of the so-called Progressive Magazine.

He has written an editorial in the current issue (April 2008) of the magazine titled 'Don't Worry About Ralph.'

In it, Rothschild claims that 'to the extent that there is anything like a progressive movement going on right now, it is foursquare behind Obama.'

Rothschild must be plugged in.

The question is - to what?

Nader/Gonzalez have put together a campaign to push for public health insurance (single-payer), to cut the bloated, wasteful military budget, to reverse U.S. policy in the Middle East, to take nuclear power off the table and to put solar energy on the table, to repeal the anti-union Taft-Hartley law, and to impeach Bush/Cheney.

Obama stands with Clinton and McCain against Nader/Gonzalez on all of these.

Rothschild says he barely knows 'anyone who has voted for Nader in the past who will vote for him this time.'

That's because Rothschild is living in his little viral liberal bubble - where the anti-Nader virus has taken hold and won't let go.

Visit our website and you will meet voters from all across America - from outside the little viral liberal bubble in which Rothschild is ensconced - who stand foursquare behind Nader/Gonzalez.

They are voting with their donations of hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Nader/Gonazlez democracy agenda.

They are voting with their feet - collecting signatures all across the country to get Nader/Gonzalez on the ballot.

And they are voting with their writing to respond to viral liberals like Rothschild.

It doesn't matter that you call yourself a progressive, Matt, or that you call your magazine The Progressive.

You are not progressive.

And your magazine is not progressive.

You are supporting the corporate Democrats.

Therefore, you are a corporate Democrat.

Stop deceiving the public.

Onward

The Nader Team"

Ralph Nader tells it like it is even if it means that some people (and potentially lots of people) aren't going to like him for it. Even if you don't agree with him, you have to admit that he's got balls. Politicians that are running for office typically just tell people what they want to hear. Ralph Nader goes against the grain, and he doesn't back down. I admire him for that.

That's it for now...
More later.

"i wonder if i could tie the ocean to your knees"

Last week was my spring break. Yeah, I know, what kind of sense does that make? It's not even officially spring, yet. Plus, it mostly just rained, snowed and hailed the whole time. Oh well, who cares? All I really did was work. But I did manage to read a few zines:

-Will You Marry Me...!? vol. 2, issue 1
-Blah Blah Blah vol. 3, issue 4
-Cuddle Puddles & Hot Pants #1
-Encycro-pedia 2006
-Sassyfrass Circus #1/Hobo's Lullaby Radio Opry!
-Blah Blah Blah vol. 3, issue 5
-Paste-eater #2
-Echo Echo! #5

Here is a quote from Echo Echo! #5: "I wish I could still smile without caring what it cost. I wish I could peel myself visible again."

Some other things:
-If you haven't watched The Story of Stuff yet, you really should. It's only 20 minutes long.
-I made quinoa sprouts.
-I planted some seeds indoors.
-I dug up the rest of the carrots in my garden.
-I watched a three hour long documentary about Noam Chomsky. He's the man. (I also watched a movie about The Queers. Up the punx.)
-I'm going to be an uncle for the 12th time.
-I sliced my thumb wide open in plant propagation lab, so I couldn't play my guitar at all during spring break. Lame.
-I wish I had the dreamy voice of Rocky Votolato and the mad chops of Thurston Moore.
-Apparently, I'm an introvert. But was that ever really a mystery?

"I'm living in lack of the blood sent from your heartbeat that arrived in your neck every time I salivated over you." -Alkaline Trio

"note to self: no one cares"

Greetings Earthlings.

If you have 20 spare minutes, you should spend it watching The Story of Stuff. If you don't have 20 spare minutes, you should still watch The Story of Stuff.

I've been thinking a lot about waste lately. Garbage waste, wasted money, wasted resources, wasted time, wasted lives. Even though I have long considered myself fairly eco-friendly and eco-conscious, I still recognize that I waste much more than my fair share and I am still part of an ugly consumerism machine that keeps barreling forward at breakneck speed, intent on bringing civilization to an early grave. Yet, we are all manning this machine. We all play a small part in it. So, by default we are all committing cultural suicide. The process is just slow. But now that so many of our natural resources have either reached or passed the peak of their availability, a mass collapse is practically inevitable.

I am a doomsayer, I know. Let's hope that I'm wrong. Let's hope that the scientists and all of their models are wrong. But mostly, let's pledge to make a dramatic shift in our lifestyles. Let's be done with waste. And let's live. Authentically, naturally and sustainably.


Please watch The Story of Stuff.

"Are the punks still singing the same songs?"

You may already know this, but I run a little zine distro called Carrot Row. It's been a while since I last posted a complete list of the zines that I carry. I made a little catalog last summer, but even that is outdated by now. I have several new zines - the very latest of which are Resist #46, Greasespot #3.5 & #4, The Art and Science of Billboard Improvement, and Seattle DIY. Also, I have lowered the price on the CROQ zines. There are (hopefully) more additions on the way. If you have a zine that you'd like me to carry, send it my way. I'm mostly looking for zines that deal with topics such as gardening, bike riding, homesteading, DIY living, crafting, cooking, camping, dumpster diving, foraging, food issues, and living the slow life.

Carrot Row Mail Order

The Art & Science of Billboard Improvement – “A guide to the alteration of outdoor advertising.” Selecting, planning and carrying out billboard alterations without getting caught. $1.

Agriculture Biotechnology zine – “Greens, genes, and in betweens.” Lara’s zine about biotechnology/genetic engineering. Everything you ever wanted to know about GMO’s, and why you should be concerned about them. Essential reading for anyone who eats food. Free, but maybe send a stamp or two.

Axis of Evil Banquet – “An intersection of recipes and politics.” Write-ups and recipes aiming to humanize the countries that the Bush Administration considers “The Axis of Evil.” Venezuela is also included. Worth $2.

CROQ #4 – Zine for the craft revolution. This issue: camp cooking, zine making, dandelion eating, parenting, unschooling, dyeing, Victorian era crafting, intellectual property protecting, etc, etc. For the reduced price of $3.

CROQ #5 – Bulb forcing, compost tea brewing, convenience food vegan-izing, DIY moving, zine library creating, craft burnout avoiding, homeschooling, exercising, time capsule-ing, 70’s crafting, self-publishing, retail shop opening, etc, etc. Also for the reduced price of $3.

EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack! #1 – Maaike’s zine about the why’s and how’s of reducing, re-using and recycling. Ten ways to go green, plus lots of other tips and resources offered. Includes a sticker and pin for a mere $2.

EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack! #2 – Maaike’s zine about food politics. Buying local and/or organic food. Buying fair trade products. Tips for shopping at farmer’s markets. Plus info on “unshopping” and sustainability. Lots of facts and resources. Educate yourself for $1.

Farmer’s Daughter #2 – A farm zine written by a farm girl. This issue focuses mainly on cows: facts, breeds (including color illustrations), milking, milk products, manure. There is also an article on urban sprawl, plus some recipes and book and zine reviews. All for just $1.

Greasespot #3.5 – Stream of consciousness mini-zine. Writing about zine making, tabling at events, and playing punk rock hangman. Also, some artwork with explanations. On green paper for 50 cents or a stamp.

Greasespot #4 – Punk rock stories from Texan punk rockers. Stories about being a pizza delivery punk, a trip to California, lost glasses, and a bomb threat at a high school. Lots more stories, too. Plus how to play a game called Botch and an awesome comic featuring the lyrics to an MTX song. $3.

Resist #46 – One of my favorite zines is back! Matte writes about riding his bike, working in his garden, seed saving, parenting, coffee, building a bike trailer, and much more. Fat zine for $3.

Seattle DIY – Your complete guide to all things punk rock in Seattle. Cheap living, transportation, local laws, book and record stores, restaurants, venues, parks, thrift stores and more. Listings are conveniently divided by neighborhood. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Seattle or whether or not you’ll ever visit Seattle, reading this will inspire you to create something similar in your area. $2.

Spat Back #3 - Emma’s little DIY punk zine. Make a bag out of old pants. Make your own stencils. Plus some personal writings about being a female in punk, rediscovering punk, and self-education. Only 50 cents.

Take it – It’s My Body (A Final Compilation) – “A zine about fighting fat hatred in life, in the world.” Chelsea’s zine about fat acceptance, fatphobia, size-ism, and body image. A compilation of new and old writing. It’s a fat revolution for $3.

Juniperbug Productions

(These are the zines that I make.)

Brown Rot – Political zine for armchair activists. Back after a long hiatus. New issue in the works (maybe). $1 for latest issue.

Elephant Mess – Perzine for family geeks. The cryptic words of a self-saboteur. Ten plus years running. $1 for latest issue (back issues available).

The Juniper – Biannual zine about living the slow life. Farming/gardening, bike riding, food politics, sustainable living. Stamp for latest issue (back issues available).

I also have a few patches and other things that I make. I will post pictures and a listing later. When ordering multiple items, please add a couple stamps or a dollar or two to help with shipping. Go DIY!

Dan Murphy
PO Box 3154
Moscow ID 83843
messyelephant@hotmail.com

"Are you restless like me?" - against me!

"the winter is taking my life"

Datsun in the Snow
Originally uploaded by juniperbug

We had a big snowstorm last week. The snow almost buried my little truck (as you can see). The storm was so bad that the University was even canceled for two days.
Plus, I am sick with a cold now, and that is also winter's fault.

"I played a song so sweet/it brought winter to its knees/and froze us over." -- bloom igby bloom

"you won't catch me behind the wheel of a chrysler ever again"

Today was the first day of spring semester. So, that means that winter break is over. That's too bad because I was really enjoying the break from school, and I didn't really get as much done as I had hoped. I did get a lot of zines read though. Here is a list for you:

-Keep Loving, Keep Fighting #7 / I Hate This Part of Texas #7 (split zine)
-Trabant #3
-Kissoff #12
-[list] #11
-A Million Birthdays #7
-Take It - It's My Body! (A Final Compilation)
-Seattly DIY
-EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack #2
-Blah Blah Blah vol. 2 #21 & #22
-Blah Blah Blah vol. 3 #1
-Infecticitis #6
-Marked for Life #4
-Even Artichokes Have Hearts #1
-Peas and Carrots 01

All of these zines were good and come highly recommended.
And that's all I have to say about that.

"la la la la love is dead"

Love is dead, but life is good because lately I've been eating carrots that I harvested from my garden this month. That's pretty awesome if you ask me. And there are still more carrots to harvest, so chances are, I will be eating fresh carrots in February, too. We've been getting massive amounts of snow around here, but the ground isn't totally frozen, yet. Garden hoe!

"oh, i live this life...and i love it"
-the queers

"so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different"

Hey all you punks and skins: Carrot Row Mail Order has new additions.

First, Take It - It's My Body (A Final Compilation). This zine is by Chelsea in PDX, OR and is all about fat acceptance, size-ism, and body image. $3 ppd.
Second, EnvironMENTAL Imp Pack #2. This is Maaike's zine (Moscow, ID) about organics, local food, and other food issues. $1 ppd.

There are more additions on the way, so be in touch. If you don't have a catalog, send a stamp.

Dan Murphy
PO Box 3153
Moscow ID 83843
USA
messyelephant@hotmail.com or juniperjournal@hotmail.com

May 2008 be the year of the punk rocker. Rock on.

"so this is the new year
and i have no resolutions"
-dcfc